Most of us would like to feel more self-confident but aren’t sure how to go about acquiring this feeling. It may even seem like some people are born with it. Perhaps that is true for a small percentage of the population but the majority of confident people have developed this skill.

Confidence is simply a matter of practice based on a firm decision.

Let me give you an example. Say that you have always wanted to be an actor but have been too shy to go on auditions. You decide whether being an actor is important enough to overcome this aversion. If the answer is yes, then you make your next decision to go on an audition. If the answer is still yes, you agree to go on another and another until you are confident enough to go on auditions without even thinking about it anymore.

The act of making a decision, acting on it and following through repeatedly will enable you to be confident in this arena. And this can be applied to any goal that you have whether it is career oriented or relationship oriented.

Another tool that can help build confidence is what I call the small successes route. Taking the example above, if you came to m

e with the need to build confidence on an audition, I would have you pick out an audition that you don’t want or could care less about. I would then have you go on that audition just to practice. Maybe you get the part. Maybe you don’t. Who cares?

Once you get through that audition, you go on one that is slightly more important, and then another and another. By the time you get to the “big one” you would be strolling in like a pro.

And the final ingredient to confidence is preparation. Let’s say that you have never been on an audition before. Perhaps there is some knowledge that you will need to give you an edge over the competition. Well a few things that any professional actor would need is a good headshot, a resume ( this does not have to be a stellar list of tv and movie performances at this point), and two prepared monologues or the sides from the audition. You would also need to get there about a half an hour early to prepare and check in.Would knowing these things before you went to that audition make you feel more confident? Of course it would.

When deciding on a goal, research it first. Being prepared builds confidence and makes your seem like more of a professional.

If you can get just these three self confidence boosting ingredients mastered you will never have the need to feel nervous or uncertain again.

Sincerely,

Caterina Christakos - founder of stillagirl.com - a positive place for women and girls

P.S. I have just extended my business coaching program to include life coaching. If you need to build confidence, analyze your goals and create a step by step plan of how to reach them check out my self confidence coaching program

Tags: Ask the Experts